Cruise Marooned - A Stagnant 'State-Of-Mind' Narrative

Cruise Marooned

A Stagnant 'State-Of-Mind' Narrative

The shades of blue were separated with a line that could only be seen but never reached. The charmingly overwhelming nature of the ocean with the serene atmosphere in the yacht was one that could easily attract someone to leave everything they have or do and just join him in the seemingly most beautiful and desirable cruise of his life.

His yacht was not just a sophisticated, pretty well-equipped and the most comfortable yacht he could ever own but it was also the newest, cleanest and the most attractive yacht as it had hardly been used, because this was a man who had a yacht but who had always avoided sailing until absolutely necessary, owing to his fear of water. The yacht had all the facilities and supplies one could hope to have for a voyage such as this one. The yacht, with all its luxury and comfort, made the journey pretty luxurious for someone cruising through an erratic and impulsive ocean under such unpredictable and difficult weather conditions.

The beauty and the facility of the yacht was the shine that caught the eyes of anyone on a boat or ship passing by. He was looked upon with either the most excited of gazes or the most envious of them. But it was safe to assume that almost everyone who knew him and saw him inferred the nature of his voyage to be a desirable and contented one.

Despite observing the cosiness and lavishness of the yacht, there was always the one query everyone had to include in any conversation with this man sailing on his yacht. And the question that every passing boat speculated was “but, how long?”. And that was it, that usually was the end of the flow in nearly every conversation that this young gentleman on the yacht had with anyone and everyone. The question remained unanswered but the usual explanation that any averagely intuitive person could come up with was that the question had remained unanswered on purpose out of a desire to stay on this voyage for as long as possible to the extent of continuing into the everlasting trail relying on the lavish service where the journey seemingly brought so much joy that the idea of a destination virtually reached its extinction.

Little did anyone know that the same cruise had two versions, one being the witnessed and one being the experienced. And the two could not be more different from each other. The reality of the expedition on water that was being carried out by this man entering the prime of his adult youth was an everlasting experience of anything but calm and comforting when it came to the state his mind was in. The apparently comfortable and extravagant nature of life that he was leading on this yacht was one that sure began that way, but had long lost that status after a very short time into the excursion.

This was a man who has always been terrified of water so much so that he had planned everything in his life until before this cruise in such a way that he never had to sail out without self-assurances. He did cross the water before but the journeys have been relatively shorter and the trips were made at times when both the weather and the ocean have been much calmer. But more importantly, he has always known a very precise destination and a very specific route on the handful of occasions he

left the shore with everything planned down to the weather forecast and ocean behaviour predictions.

This time though, the story was different. There still was a destination, but the distance was longer and the path was tougher than he had ever travelled before. Now, this is a man who even has the route to his final terminus, the place he is destined to be, planned out leaving just a few pit-stops as they were subjectively variant and the decisions to those had been left to be taken circumstantially. Anyway, all that was now in the past and did not have any significant contribution to the trip currently at progress. Well, except for passing some sweet time dwelling on to the relatively glorious self-soothing past.

This time, the journey was different. This time, the journey was leading much deeper into himself with every mile sailed further. The tricky thing actually is that there is no such thing as going further in this trip. It’s because this time, there was no sense of a right direction left in the picture. This was not for the lack of a plan going into the cruise but was for what followed.

The ‘going as planned’ status of this journey that was plotted by this reasonably intellectual and intuitive young man who had been remarkably good as well as consistent with planning such tours had been brought down by the weather and the ocean as they had interventions of course-changing magnitudes this time. As good as the plans of the previous trips had been, the smooth sails also had the weather and the water to thank as they never seemed to interfere.

However, this time, the case was different. This time, the journey began with its usual but there was a storm. There was storm that was on an absolutely different level of being unexpected. The storm, make no mistake, was of such nature and magnitude, that it had ruined the sails, boats, yachts and even many of the bigger ships down to pieces smaller than what could be seen with a naked eye. And this was a storm that even kept moving, making sure it reaches everything form the smallest of rafts to the biggest of ships and getting stronger with every encounter. And naturally, it destroyed the journeys, hopes and dreams of countless individuals and their respective vessels. And do take note, the reach of this storm did not even leave the landmasses alone for even people on land were hit as hard as anyone by it. This a storm that had made sure that it was recognised globally and made its impact on every geographical corner of this oblate spheroid of a planet and altered the life journey of almost every single creature to exist.

This is the storm that brought along waves so high and strong that it dramatically changed the stage the journey was at and the condition of the yacht itself a bit and this aquaphobic piece of flesh and bones of a person petrified to his very core. Even though the yacht had survived the majority of the storm due to its technological sophistication, good condition and maintenance along with the initial route plan that avoided the predictably rougher and stronger areas of the storm, the rest of the situation apart from the survival aspect had been severely affected. There was not much noticeable physical damage to him but the confidence of the master planner began plummeting down as the storm picked him up and placed him right at his wit’s end. The yacht was tossed and turned and the route map and compass became irrelevant by how and where it was thrown away every now and then in the

incalculability of the ocean with no sense of direction under control. At the end of the majority of it, there was no plan or checkpoints left to crosscheck and he was more or less lost.

The other thing it indirectly affected was the emergency lifeboat. The lifeboat had gotten rust and required both keeping it off water contact and a little galvanising every now and then so as to keep it in a condition where it could go into the water in case of an emergency. But when the storm led the waves to being that high and strong, they kept hitting the deck where the lifeboat was hanging. Moreover, he couldn’t tend to the boat’s needs. So, the lifeboat basically rotted off and fell into the water and sank away. Losing his lifeboat in the midst of a storm practically meant the end of having the sense of safety and a self-assuring thought of “even if things go wrong, I’m covered” in times of danger.

The problematic thing with this storm was that it practically never ended, as the sun hasn’t really shined since the storm began. The rain has been extremely frequent and consistent and even at the times when it physically doesn’t rain, the clouds still don’t leave and the sky never gets clear. This just adds up to the overall gloomy nature of everything and everyone everywhere. So, the situation now for everyone in the sea or anywhere else for that matter, is to just keep on travelling accepting the new normal of the sky and try to reach wherever they have to, as soon as possible to them.

And so is the case with this cruiser as well. Whatever his confidence level might be, whatever his plan might initially have been and how much ever had the storm distorted it, he just had to carry on. He has to reach somewhere. He had a location he planned to go to. Out of the several pit-stops to his eventual destination, this was the one he chose to make at this instance which in itself became the most difficult journey he ever had to make. But he has to keep moving, sailing through the tough times. He did have the comfort of his advanced, supply-full and luxurious yacht that kept him safe from the more direct and physical effects of the weather and the water.

And so, he got to this state where sailing means nothing but a helpless and clueless wandering about being typically lost in the vastness of the ocean. However, the constant attempt to get back on track and reach the destination never ceases. The facilities of delicious food supplies and engaging entertainment on the yacht gave him the occasional rest sessions he needed to keep his mind sane so he doesn’t implode. And so, his journey was going on.

There was something else he could do to somehow reach a shore and end his misery, though. Or to be more accurate, he could a couple of things. And these were things he did know. And moreover, these were the very ideas that the boats passing by would never let him forget. The people with suggestions had always presented themselves as the messiahs with ground breaking revelations and were taken aback when he didn’t follow their plans right away as they pretty much assumed that he either had never thought of those things and didn’t want to follow plans laid out by someone but himself or that he was just way too stubborn in his own path with an absolute giddy optimism. Both of those assumptions however, were as far from the truth as they could be.

What goes around these waters is that there are a couple of popular boat chains that keep sending boats on standard routes one of which even happened to pass through somewhere a little nearer to his route, the other one being comparatively less accessible but still a viable option nevertheless. And the idea was to follow or even tow his yacht to one of the boats on one of these routes. The two ideas being the two boats or basically the two routes.

The trouble with following either of these two routes was that he knew for sure that committing to either of those routes or basically any other route would simply mean letting go of the route and most importantly the place he yearned so much to be at. What he wants and hopes to achieve is to reach this one place as this is the place that he chose to be the current pit stop on his way to reach his final destination one day. And moreover, he knew what to expect of this place and was actually pretty excited to reach there as it was more than just another stop for him. This was the place with the best of the mountains that he always wanted to climb as he was actually a trekker with good trekking experience and even climbed the occasional hills and he had always dreamed of taking it a step forward and learning to rock climb professionally and then climbing these beautiful mountains which would be eventually prepare him to be what he needs to be at his final destination to do the critical mountaineering and fulfilling his ambition of climbing the ultimate mountain.

The problem with choosing the closest route and following it behind one of the fixed route boats is that he knows the route and the destination of those boats and he knows that following that route will lead him to some land, no doubt. But it won’t be a place where he could even hike or trek much, leave alone learning professional mountaineering. There just simply weren’t proper hills or mountains on that landmass. It could sure be better than being in the waters as he could rest, he could get his yacht properly serviced, fill his supplies up for a future trip or basically just take a break from everything with a feeling of being landed somewhere, and he knew that.

The other route, that was comparatively more difficult to catch and follow but still looked easier compared to reaching his initially planned destination was relatively much better than the first option. This route reached a place where there are a few hills and some odd mountains here and there where he could at least trek properly and maybe attempt rock climbing as a hobby even though he couldn’t learn to rock climb professionally here. Again, this was another place for all the things he could do at any other place and this one didn’t completely keep him from his basic fashion of tasks as well, and all in all, this as well is a better thing to do than to wander about in the ocean, and he knew that as well.

Despite knowing that those two options existed and that they both were better than wandering about in the waters, he just couldn’t let go of his dream so cheaply in exchange of some supplies and his yacht being serviced and letting him step on some sort of a piece of land. Being a planner all his life, he was afraid to lose control of his journey and its route and he just couldn’t bring himself to surrendering his path to some other boat chain’s pre planned route way. As tough as it was, he wants the hands on the wheel to be his. He cannot see someone else navigate his path, and that too, when it won’t take him to where he wants to be anyway. This was cruel on him, and that was why he has been avoiding both of those options and letting himself be

on the path he chose with the route he has, attempting to get back on it and see the land he wants to step on and reach there at any cost and on his own.

He just needs that one sight, that one ray of hope, to check out at least one of the checkpoints on his map so that he knows where exactly he is in the context of reaching where he wants to be. A single sight of a single checkpoint is all he wants. And he has to see it on his own, as none of those passing by could help him with this for these are the sights that only he recognised as code to mark a checkpoint in his map and were inexplicable to anyone else. But he just doesn’t want to give up until he knows for sure that there’s absolutely nothing he can do about it as that day will be coming soon too since his fuel and supplies have limits unlike his perseverant mindset despite his fear of staying in the waters for so long.

It need not necessarily be a catastrophic shipwreck. It need not necessarily be about running out of food and other supplies. It need not necessarily be about someone on a small raft or a lifeboat in the midst of a storm over waters with sharks trying to toss the vessel and eat the person away. It need not necessarily be a case where the person is alone with no other human contact for days, weeks, months or years together. It need not necessarily be that the person would run out of ideas and there would be no one there to suggest him a few. It need not necessarily be a situation with no options left except to survive somehow fighting with and against nature and hope that the boat would somehow float its way towards some shore. It need not necessarily be a story that ends with the person either triumphantly reaching the land with a flag in his hand or dies trying in the middle of the ocean by drowning, being eaten or starving to death. It need not necessarily be that the person loses his sanity to end up doing things out of character. It need not necessarily even end, much like the ocean.

This is a tale of a cruise that was planned, that was surrounded by other people in other boats and ships passing by, that survived the biggest storm the seas had seen, that has a young, fit, intellectual man who is quite the planner, that has a vessel with the best of the facilities and supplies providing the most physically comfortable of lives, that has options to choose from and places to go to finish it leaving a chance to survive in numerous other scenarios. But even with all these things considered, it is a parable of a soul being confiscated of its vocation, leaving it marooned in the midst of the limitlessness of the ocean.

- M. P. Raghav